I seek refuge with Allah
from the Accursed Shaytan
In the Name of Allah Most
Gracious Most Merciful
All Praise is due to
Allah, Lord of the Worlds
And peace be upon the
greatest among the prophets and messengers
Our master and leader
And upon his righteous and
As-Salaam Alaykum Wa
Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuho!
The Peace, Mercy of God
and the Blessings of God be on you!
verses from the Holy Qur’an (the Final Testament)
Bismillah Hir Rahman
In The Name of God, Most
Compassionate, Most Merciful
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ
وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ
لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ
أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ
O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a
female, and made you tribes and families that you may
know each other; surely the most honorable of you with
Allah is the one among you most careful (of his duty);
surely Allah is Knowing, Aware.
been having trouble with your eyes and you
decide to go to an optometrist for help. After
briefly listening to your complaint, he takes
off his glasses and hands them to you.
" Put these on," he says. "I've worn this pair of
glasses for ten years now and they've really helped me.
I have an extra pair at home; you can wear these."
So you put them on, but it only makes the problem worse.
"This is terrible!" you exclaim. "I can't see a thing!"
"Well, what's wrong?" he asks. "They work great for me.
"I'm trying," you insist. "Everything is a blur."
"Well, what's the matter with you? Think positively."
"Okay. I positively can't see a thing."
"Boy, are you ungrateful!" he chides. "And after all
I've done to help you!"
What are the chances you'd go back to that
optometrist the next time you need help?
Honey, what's wrong, tell me I'll understand - I
don't like school anymore - What! After all the
sacrifices we've made, you need to apply yourself,
get a positive attitude
We have a tendency to fix things up with "good"
advice. But we often fail to take the time to
diagnose, to really deeply understand the problem
We need to seek to understand first and then to be
"Unless you're influenced by my uniqueness, I'm not
going to be influenced by your advice." - So you
have to build skills in empathetic listening on a
base of character that inspires openness and trust.
Describing our Bad Habit
People sometimes say: "I can't understand my
kid. He just won't listen to me at all." - maybe
to listen to
When a person speaks we are usually doing one of
Ignoring - not really listening
Pretending - "Yeah. Uh-huh. Right."
Selective Listening - hearing only certain
parts of the conversation
Attentive - paying attention on the words
that are being said
Very few of us practice Empathetic Listening
- to listen with the intent to understand
and not to respond. Get inside the other
person's frame of reference
Study: only 10% of our communication is verbal,
30% is our sounds, and
We need to be empathetic (not same as
sympathetic) to others and sense, intuit, feel
Breaking a Bad Habit
The next time someone is speaking to you, watch
yourself carefully (you need to pay attention
the first few times, its like learning to drive
You will either evaluate (agree/disagree)
Probe (question based on our own frame of
Advise (give counsel based on our
Or Interpret (try to explain people's
The early Greeks had a magnificent philosophy:
Ethos, Pathos, Logos
Ethos = personal credibility (bio of the
speaker about to speak)
Pathos = empathetic side, feeling (story
telling by the speaker)
Logos = logic (speech has to make sense)
See the call to prayer
First God is Great, then Testify that
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah s.w.t. -
this is your ethos
Then Come to prayer, come to prosperity,
come to the deed that is good - this is your
pathos. Who doesn't want to come to
Finally your actual prayer
This is why I believe Allah s.w.t. says
and ends the verse with
إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ
In conclusion, we need to seek to understand by
practicing empathetic listening and watching our
communication with one another
= May He be Glorified and Exalted
Upon him be Peace
p.u.b.h.&f = Peace be Upon him and his family
- Mujtaba Khambatti,
Aug. 9, 2007